Marathon training week 7 - stuff I’m learning

So here we are, 7 weeks of training done! I feel like I should apologise to week 6 of the plan for not giving it enough love as I’m now recalling week 6’s 10 mile long run with a lot more fondness now that I’m feeling shattered after todays 12 miler. 

12 miles - that is now my newest and shiniest long run so far. I think now the miles are really starting to build there are definitely a lot of things I’m learning along the way, a handful of which are :

• I need to plan in advance when will be the best time to do the weekend long run. It’s not easy fitting in a couple of hours+ for running with all the stuff going on with my four little uns at the weekend. The weekends are also important family time for us, as Mr F works away during the week quite a bit. At the moment Sunday mornings work well for the long run as hubby takes the girls along to watch their big brothers play rugby so I can prep food for when they get back, then run out for a couple of hours usually arriving home at a similar time to the rest of my tribe returning. 

• I do need to start being a bit better when it comes to eating and drinking. Wednesday’s run after valentines eve wine and curry-fest was a real slog. Friday night I had a mums night out with reception class mums - drank a bucket of cocktails - Saturday was a running rest day - but I still think even 2 days later running today was harder than it would have been minus the gallon of cocktails drunk on Friday eve. I think biiiiiiiiig nights out need to be put on hold now till post-marathon. Going to try (again) to reduce the amount of crap I eat during the week as well, try to meal plan a bit better. I make sure the kids have a healthy meal - but when it comes to my own diet I seem to live on cheese toasties and the kids left-overs!

• I would really benefit from losing at least half a stone before the marathon. My BMI is still in the ‘overweight’ category and I know that to lose even half a stone would make a real difference to my running. Half term next week - but I have a plan to embark on a 9 day cleansing diet when the kids go back to school. 

• I need to keep my toenails short! Feeling the toenail pain after todays 12 miles!

• I need to start thinking about the actual marathon and what I’ll need on the day in more detail. Today I was very aware of feeling my energy levels tailing off from the 8 mile point. I have never carried snacks/water - but now the big miles are happening I definitely need something along the way. Need to figure out what snacks to take with me on marathon day and how best to carry them (guess nipping into McDonalds along the route isn’t an option).

Sorry if you started reading this expecting some more technical running related lessons learnt! I see words like cadence, splits, tempo, hydration strategy being chucked around when I read stuff by people who actually know what they are doing. Who knows, maybe over the next few weeks I will get my head round this running stuff properly too! So get me, this sh*t really is getting serious now !! 

The Lurgy, a 10 mile run & 10 weeks till the London marathon

10 weeks today I should, all being well, have finished my first ever marathon. I do hope I’ll have finished and not still be running in the dark alongside a chap who’s plodding around in a deep sea diving suit. Anyway, yes 10 weeks to go. I lose the comfort of counting down in double digits from here on in. 

So training-wise this was week 6 of the plan I am following. It was the toughest so far too. After quite a nice short runs/rest week in week 5, things should have ramped up a gear in week 6, however my training was hampered by a large dose of the lurgy - which meant I only hit 50% of my training goals. Running was not possible on a couple of days as it was a struggle just to not cough up a lung whilst waiting at the school gate for the boys. Thankfully the lurgy cleared for today and I was able to get out for the weekend big run, however the rocky week and the missed training sessions were playing on my mind as I was gutted to have had to come ‘off plan’ for the first time since I started training. It’s been a really good feeling each Sunday night knowing I’ve stuck to the plan 100%. So yeah, I was gutted and worried that missing a couple of sessions would affect me and stop me hitting my distance goal of 10 miles today. I procrastinated, putting off going out, but around 2pm I was aware the clock was ticking and then the kids started talking about getting the playdough out (bloody hate playdough - I swear its a phobia, that really is a thing you know!) so I decided to just get on with it and got into my running gear. I was feeling proper grumpy and my internal monologue was something along the lines of: 

“don’t want to go bloody stupid running, its cold, its going to be hard, can’t run 10 miles, it’s too far but hang on its not even half the marathon distance, oh good god what am I doing I cant run a bloody stupid marathon, I’m going to let down my charity as I won’t hit my fundraising target, and its coooooooold!!!” this kind of sums up my feelings pre-run:

So with a proper grump on off I set …. and I DID IT! and I’m so pleased I did it! I did 10 miles which is my longest ‘all in one go running no walking' so far in my training. All thoughts of having irreparably ruined my training by being poorly were banished and I now feel back on track and ready for week 7.

So 10 miles - appreciate this is a piece of cake (mmm cake) for other runners but I am well chuffed with this. Key moments :

Between 1 & 2 miles: felt a bit sick (think this was because I had eaten a double decker not long before going out). It felt tough with the awareness that there were still a lot of miles to get through. Plus there was a hell of a lot of gross roadkill to dodge, don’t know what was going on with the wildlife in rural Worcestershire last night but it honestly resembled a mass animal suicide out there - which did little to cheer me up as mentally I was still in the ‘bloody stupid running’ mindset.

4-5 miles: this was quite a nice long stretch with nice scenery and I was feeling much cheerier and had that great feeling where my breathing was all OK, my legs felt strong and carrying me along easily with that ‘its all coming together this is working and its great!!’ feeling.

5 miles: I did have a little mental slump at this point thinking ‘only half way!’ however I was reminded how the right song at the right time can really help your running. Well it works for me Kaiser Chiefs ‘I predict a riot’ came on which has just the right beat for me to pace my running too and I was feeling really good.

Around the 6 mile point: I did worry I needed a poo. This is one of my big worries for marathon day - over 5 hours running is a long time to put off bodily functions - and if I stop for a portaloo I’m worried I won’t be able to get going again and carry on running. Defo couldn't do a Paula Radcliffe either. Anyway it wasn’t an issue on todays training run as it passed (the urge, not the poo I should add). Sorry appreciate this tip-toes across the line of ‘oversharing’.

7 miles: bit of a struggle uphill at this point - once again aided by a song change - this time Nirvana - angry music can be awesome to run too. My play list is a pretty mixed bag to be honest, especially as leading up to the 8 mile point the Harry Potter theme tune came on which is surprisingly great to run to quite lullaby-like and calming and did the job.

Final mile - the 10th mile: I knew the  end was in sight, and a cheery hi-five from my neighbour who had just gone out for a run with her dog boosted me the final stretch back home. So I’m thinking the crowd and the atmosphere and the hi-fives along the marathon route will definitely help matters on the day.

Got to give a big shout out to my hubby as well - as well as supervising the playdough carnage whilst I was out he had a bath going for me when I got home. He’s a good un! A big shout out to all other halves of people training for whatever event - having someone in your corner supporting you all the way - really brilliant and very appreciated. Love you Mr F xxx

Post run 'eating of all the food' was pretty good too!

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1st Baby Vs 4th Baby

I saw something on Facebook recently, I haven't been able to find it again but it was something along the lines of:

1st child gets a sterilised dummy, 5th child gets a “here suck on my keys!”

Now I have not got, nor will I be having a baby number 5 - but still with the bundle of kids I do have, it got me thinking…….

So here we go - my own top 6 observations of our (vastly) differing parenting of Baby 1 vs Baby 4 (and if you are reading this in the future, my 4th baby Clementine - I am so sorry mummy and daddy love you very much - we were just knackered, standards had massively slipped, and we were winging it on a daily basis to survive!)

1. The nursery 

                                                                                                                               

1st Baby: I read the magazines, I poured over glossy pictures of nurseries, I searched for lists of what you absolutely must have, I walked around mothercare, mamas and papas in my lunch break admiring cots. So yes, my first born had a nursery. Not a big room, but it was lovely. His very own room, painted, new carpet. Matching nursery furniture. Cot assembled well in advance of his arrival, and made up with pretty sheets (pretty sheets that just gathered dust as it wasn’t until he was 6 months old that he actually slept in it). A feeding chair with footstool was in the corner, brand new baby gros and teeny tiny vests folded in the drawers. I used to just go in and look at the room, and look at the cot and try and imagine an actual real life baby in there!

4th Baby: Ok, when the time came (a lot earlier than  it did with baby 1) she went into her own room. The very same cot in the same room (older siblings now in their own bedrooms). However, it was no longer a perfect haven of new baby loveliness,  this was over 4 years later and the once pristine nursery was now really more of a ‘laundry room with a cot in it’. It had become our unofficial utility room/dumping ground where all the clean dry washing would be deposited until I got round to sorting through it (*cough* till I would rummage through said clothes mountain to find what I needed that day). The carpet was now a patchwork of dodgy baby stains, the freshly painted walls now marked and also daubed with tester pot colours as I HAD intended to give it a repaint but never got round to it. Paper work, and baby paraphernalia (some broken/some just grown out of) all stored in there. Again I say “sorry” to my 4th born!

2. Birth preparations

1st Baby: I had a birthplan. Oh yes. An NCT approved birthplan (I wish I could see a copy!) I know I had things like soft lighting, music etc on there. It was quite lenghty, lots of requests to ensure the perfect birth experience (ha ha ha ha). Along with the detailed birthplan, my hospital bag was all packed and ready to go, all that was left was me mulling over whether to pack my hair straighteners or not. And, OMG ( I cringe at the ridiculousness of this one)….. I had a bikini wax. (don’t ask - I clearly was not in my right mind.)

4th Baby: No birthplan (and certainly no bikini wax!). Also, we had the builders in at home, working on turning our garage into extra living space as, in the 4 years and 3 months since baby 1 we had really gone to town on filling up our house with kids. So yeah - instead of enjoying a back rub by candlelight with calming music playing, my contractions just before going into hospital were accompanied by the dulcet tones of drilling, banging, and the builders chatting to each other in Bulgarian. Bless them when they left for the day I was pretty much ready to get to hospital. I got a cheery ‘good luck’ and thumbs up as they loaded up their van for the day. This was on the Saturday evening, I was home by Sunday evening along with baby, and when I answered the door come Monday morning to the builders you could see them looking at me trying to suss out if I’d actually had the baby. Oh and the hospital bag? Pretty much packed on the way out the door.

3. Weaning 

1st Baby: When it came to baby 1’s first experiences with toast - the toast would be buttered, cut into soldiers, handed to baby with lots of praise, hand clapping, and photos. I bought a mini blender, I filled my trolley with fruit, veg and pureed the heck out of anything containing vitamins that crossed my path.

4th Baby: I no longer really bought and pureed stuff just for baby, whatever we as a family were eating, if it was also suitable for Baby 4, a dollop of our meal would just get whizzed with a hand blender and given to her. 

For the most part baby 4 fed herself, although it wasn't an intentional 'baby led weaning' thing - it was more of a 'baby just has to crack on with it herself if she wants to eat' thing as Mr F and I would be busy dishing out the food and dealing with the general complaints and mealtime carnage caused by the other 3. 

I was also a big big fan of the Ella’s Kitchen pouches - especially when Baby 4 could hold and suck on one herself! Before she could hold them herself I found myself pretty delirious with giddiness in the supermarket one day when I found a spoon you could just screw on to the pouch. Totally owning 'Mum of the Year 2015' right there!

4. Swimming lessons

1st Baby: Swimming lessons at 6 months old, and we have lots of underwater pictures. 

4th Baby: First lesson at 2 years old. Zero underwater pics. Nuff said.

5. Photos 

1st Baby: Ah - I kept a journal and photos where organised on the computer by month. I also created albums with all baby 1’s first moments. 

4th Baby: Number of photos and attention to detail was pretty poor by number 4 - for example (hangs head in shame) we took zero pictures on her christening day. I didn’t take any, to be fair, as I was too busy in church holding the baby and trying to deal with children 2 and 3 who had decided to have an in-church meltdown. It’s more awful than usual when kids behave badly in church as you really can’t lose your shit - I just had to grimace throughout. Which brings us nicely to number 6…..

6. The Christening

1st Baby: Oh this christening was a BIG EVENT. After the service we had hired the village hall and invited around 50 people, we had people in to cater it and a beautiful cake made for us.

2nd Baby: After the service we went to a local tea rooms for a lovely afternoon tea - slightly less people. Got the same lady as before to make us another gorgeous cake.

3rd Baby: We celebrated her christening at home - significantly less people, we put out a few sandwiches and crisps and I cobbled together a cake myself.

4th Baby: We piggy-backed the christening of baby 4’s cousin who is just a couple months younger. We had a ‘two for the price of one’ christening if you will, back at Granny Fs house in mid Wales. Because of the location, and because we were knackered and didn’t have the energy to invite a load of people we just had a handful of guests from our side attend, and it was only when we got back to Granny Fs house I realised we’d all completely forgotten about having a cake.

So all in all, on the one hand upon reflection I wonder if I should start saving now for the decades of therapy baby 4 is clearly going to need, but on the other hand I can see that we as parents were much more relaxed the 4th time round, knackered yes, but chilled at the same time and far less paranoid and fretful about everything. Baby 4 is now a bouncy two year old toddler and amazes us everyday with her independence, determination and fearlessness “I do it!” is her current favourite phrase. The kid hangs her own coat up and lines up her shoes unlike her siblings  1 2 3 who seem to think a pile in the hallway is a perfectly acceptable response to ‘hang up your coats please and put away your shoes’. 

All my kids are amazing, and ok yes me and Mr F still feel like we are winging it most days, but I now know that’s absolutely fine :)

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Screw you self doubt!

5 weeks into my ‘properly training for a proper marathon’ plan. Once tomorrow’s 60 minute run is done and dusted that will be over 15 hours of running since the start of January - yay *happy dance*!

So, physically the training is going to plan, however last week - the mental side of this whole marathon running shenanigans went, quite frankly, to shit as I hit a big old wall - a wall built with self-doubt and anxiety shitty bricks. I found myself crying over coffee on the shoulders of two very lovely friends having a total “I can’t do any of this! I can’t do anything!” moment. I wondered how to write this post and if I should write this post - but hey ho - to give the impression this is all jolly japes and a walk/jog in the park would not be the whole truth! 

I think there are a lot of parallels to be made between mummyhood and marathon running - as well as the good moments there’s a whole mixed bag of “am I doing enough, is it good enough, what if I let people down” moments…..

A lot of people say to me about both my marathoning and my mummying “don’t know how you do it” “you are super mum” etc - all said with no agenda other than kindness and support, which is hugely complimentary and uber nice to hear - but it does make me think - "arrggghh! hang about, I’m at times clinging onto my sanity by my fingertips!! I should be doing better!"

I can also feel guilty for not being back at work as that means being a SAHM is my main job and focus and therefore I should be all over it like a boss - however if I give myself a self appraisal I  tend to focus on all the areas in which I’m under performing. It’s only since trying to organise a fundraiser evening to help raise money for my chosen marathon charity that it has really hit home how much my confidence and self belief outside day to day home and mummyhood duties has dwindled. My instant go-to thought is that my fundraiser won’t work/ no one will come/ it will be a disaster. It's an underlying thread I see now in other areas of my life - convincing myself I’ll fail at something before I even try. 

So I have to say ...... “NO! Screw you self doubt. I am doing the best I can. That is enough. My kids are growing and thriving, they are healthy and happy. I’m sticking to my training plan so come marathon day it doesn’t matter how many hours it takes me, I WILL DO IT and I will have done my best". The fundraiser night will be fine too - I have wonderful friends helping make it happen and I have wonderful friends who are coming along and supporting it. So again I say ….. “jog on self doubt - I have no time for you!” 

The Tale of Mummyhood